Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.


No matter your age, I am sure that at some point in our life we all have gotten into some type of argument.

Well today’s quote inspires us to pause, step back and reflect.

“Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.”

Desmond Tutu

Well as much as arguing sounds like a bad thing, it actually can be a good thing as the opportunity can help us improve.

Its natural for us to always want to win the fight or argument, right? Well when trying to “win,” we tend to try and dominate the other person by showing that we are bigger, or louder. This isn’t a good thing! Instead of trying to be super dominant, we should try to prove our argument’s validity and use real evidence to prove that we are right.

Let’ say if you and I  get into an argument on which ice cream flavor is more popular … and you say chocolate and I say vanilla.

Instead of fighting we can try to prove to each other why each of us is right with a better argument or even better backed by some fact or data. 

I encourage you next time you find your self in such a situation, to take a pause and reflect. 

Calmly try to make people understand your perspective and you relate to thier as well.



  1. BREATHE: Take a moment to pause and breathe.
    • Slow deep breathing… and guide your breath to go deeper
    • Try breathing in for a count of 4 and breathing out for a count of 5 or longer
  2. REFLECT: Think about an argument you are having now or had in past. 
    • What thoughts come up?
    • What are you feeling?
    • Can you identify any Fears?
  3. RESPOND: 
    • Come back to the breath & without any judgement notice your body, thoughts or any sensations
    • With the next breath out – Release and let go  anything that is not helping you right now
    • Ask yourself are these thoughts helping or hurting me?
    • Opening your fist visualize releasing a string and release the fear

Watch the balloon fly away…



Next time you find your self in argumentation

Pause, Breathe, Reflect and come back with a stronger argument. 

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